From Mercury Retro

Woo woo Wiley-

What exactly is Mercury retrograde and what should I do during it?

 

Dear MR WWW-

It is when the big weasel in the sky decides to spin this one planet back, so things actually go partly back in time.  Weasels from your past pop up.  Weasels stall your sh*t from happening. 

You must hide inside until it’s over.  Lock the doors, pull down the shades.  Wear vintage clothing.  Remember, go with it, go retro.  Bring back fads from the past, like rave and keyboard music.  Wait, that’s already been done.  This Nu Rave thing.  It’s like being stuck in perma mercury retro.

Oh, also, stay away from all fish.  They might have a little mercury in them.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.  Thanks for your question.  I have to go get myself committed now.  Visions of glow sticks are bouncing around my head.