From Law-Breaker

Dear Wiley-

I was just reading through some of the world’s strangest laws. Did you know that in the UK, a pregnant woman can pee anywhere she wishes legally? .. but in Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation. Can we find some medium ground? Surely these are human rights abuses.

Hey LB, with a J-

I think there can be. Can’t you imagine a wonderful world where anyone can pee where they like? or are we all going to have to paddle across the pond and purchase those sympathetic pregnancy bellies and strap ‘em on to take a wee? That’s one option. Sometimes you just can’t wait to get to a nasty public toilet, so just carry a pregnant lady disguise with you.

Secondly- the Indonesian thing- they don’t like dead cute kitties. It’s just a cute kitty protection law because everyone knows that everytime you whack off, a cute kitty gets it. Duh.  So, finish all your whacking in another country before you visit the nice sunny beaches and malaria infested jungles of Indonesia.  You wouldn’t want certain things to be on your permanent record, now would you? Permanent Record- a movie with the young Keanu- worth a watch, really is.

From Maybe Mason

Dear Wiley- Maybe Mason Novick will notice you have a bad word in your blog and make your scripts into movies too.

Dear M&M-

I suppose anything’s possible.  I do have one called ‘Wiley Goes to Washington’ where weasels are top secret double agents.

How’s your mom? taxes? leprechauns?

Now that VD is over, we can keep up with the other holidaze involving booze and candy, when no one “special” need be involved.

From Right Said Sam

Dear Wiley-

I noticed your last post. I thought I’d bring up that it’s fashion week and that you and Right Said Fred like to talk about the same tag words, so here:

I’m too sexy for my love too sexy for my love
Love’s going to leave me

I’m too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt
So sexy it hurts
And I’m too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan
New York and Japan

And I’m too sexy for your party
Too sexy for your party
No way I’m disco dancing

I’m a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I do my little turn on the catwalk

I’m too sexy for my car too sexy for my car
Too sexy by far
And I’m too sexy for my hat
Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that

I’m a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I shake my little touche on the catwalk

I’m too sexy for my too sexy for my too sexy for my

‘Cos I’m a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I shake my little touche on the catwalk

I’m too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat
Poor pussy poor pussy cat
I’m too sexy for my love too sexy for my love
Love’s going to leave me

Wiley, you’re too sexy for the blog world!

Dear RSS-

You flatterer. You get 3 points, a cookie and a medal for this.

From Bad Cat

Dear Wiley-

So, I saw this flyer when I was walking merrily down the street yesterday. To my surprise, I was enlightened to this kind of feline I had never known before. Is it all hip and trendy to have this kind of pet now- like having one of those bengel cats was so “in” last year? Am I missing something?

Dear BC-

That photo of the “cat” looks a touch like a distant cousin of us weasels- the branch of the family that contracted narcolepsy. Thank goodness I got out of that gene pool.

You see- before Christ, people had all kinds of furry critters about, but since he came around, he forbade us to cavort with every kind of furry pussy out there- or else we’d get banished to hell! We became limited. That is where we are now.

You must have stepped into a time warp and that flyer you saw was really printed on papyrus. Deal with it.

PaidtobeNice.com

That there is our sister site. Go to it. Your funny bone depends on it.

We don’t get paid here on this blog, so that’s why we might not be very nice. Tada!