Wiley,

I get grossed out by Twilight moms. They’re 40 year olds lusting after a supposed 17 year old vampire boy. I understand cougars, but maybe this is a tad vulgar- that they dress up in prom gowns and such… How to handle this odd phenom?

Dear Fatm-

I cannot fathom why these women do this either, except for unstability in their heads.

Perhaps if the next Twilight movie were to be renamed New Poon instead of New Moon…. then only the lesbian Twilight moms might still find it appealing?

newmoonshorts 

Can you smell the New Moon?