From Hurry Up, Zombies are About to Eat Me

Wiley!!

I am crouched down in the women’s lingerie section of a department store in a shopping mall, hiding from a zombie attack that has wiped out my entire town.  So, I went to feel safe where I spend all my money.  Nothing like consumerism to give you security.  Anyhow, I think they can smell me.  They are coming this way….

 

Dear Dead Meat-

This is what I would do- Have you seen the ‘Thriller’ video?  Not that I base all my answers on ‘What would Michael Jackson do?’, but if I were you, I would tell those damn flesh eaters to put on some garters and slips and do that little hand dance.  Give the zombies scissors, maybe if they had shredding clothes as an outlet, what is commonly referred to as fashion- they would feel better.  If they spent all day planning and tearing up their outfits for that night’s activities- i.e.- going out and dancing (clubbing), then they would feel better-er.  Next, teach them to smoke.  I hear it calms even dead nerves.