From 4:90

So Weasely, can I call you Weasely?

I guess we have to cut to the chase and forget all formalities, it is 2008 in the year of the Lord Jesus Christ’s.

I found a credit card and license in a taxi.

I pondered giving it to the driver and leave it up to him to do the with it what he might.

In that instant we came to screeching halt with a thump to follow.

My thoughts ran wild.

How am I going to get to bed in 30 minutes having to hang around a crime scene, did I even seeanything, did anybody see me? But I realized these were the least of my worries, I had spilt Dragonfruit Vitamin Water on my Light Purple Uniqlo shirt.

I am sure you know which Vitamin Water it is, it’s almost purple but has more magenta in it.

Will it come out?

It happened last night, do I need to soak, rise, repeat?

Please help, it’s the best 4.90 I spent on a shirt.

I have received many compliments from gay men and even had fling with attractive dancer last night with Anthony and the Johnsons lulling us into a deep sexual tension.

All because of this 4.90 light purple Uniqlo shirt.

Thanks,

4.90

 

Dear 4.90-

Let me think about it.  I’m trying to build a brand here- around Wiley Weaselle.  Weasley?  Does that do anything for my image.. hmmm.

Was the card a black AmEx with a sparkly smiley face sticker on it?  Did you lick it and see if the edge had any blow residue?  If yes, I know to who it belongs.  Just send it to me and I’ll get it back into the owner’s hands here in LA.

Yes, I do know which formula it is.  It’s the one you drink and it makes you a dragon [-lady, -man].

I say, go with it.  No use crying over spilt Vit-amin H20.  Would Kobe cry?  I think not.  Not all the womanizing charges or near Olympic failure would have him in tears on any billboard hawking this magical elixir.  

I would either:  have Mr. Bryant pay for your shirt to be laundered or say f*ck it.  Go with the spill, not against the spill.  Be zen with it.  Did Bill’s stuff come out of Monica’s blue dress?  I love Bill.  I love that part of him is preserved, and not just Chelsea.  I love her too, and Hill the best.

Now, that is a unique Uniqlo, flaunt it.  Work it.  Does anyone else have one with that particular magenta streak?  Just by looking at it, gays’ minds will go into a tizzy thinking of Magenta and Frankenfurter dancing around in Rocky Horror.  The gays will be trying to buy it off of you now, offering you tons of loot. 

Does the stain resemble anyone?  Hay-zeus?  Madonna?  Kobe?  People who hawk Uniqlo?  like James Ransone or when I knew him was PJ- Pop Jimmy, Purple Hay-zeus?  If so, more loot.

You could tie-die it.  Be a new Bohemian.      You could take a lighter to the stain, age it.  My wonderful old roomie Michael Formika Jones did that once to a wife beater- little burn holes all over.  He used to be Misstress Formika- always hard, easy to clean (unlike your shirt). He is so very gay.  So, I can assure you the gays will love it even more.

Btw, 4:90, wish you were here.  We are doing a behind the scenes shoot with some girls from Click today in downtown LA- video for The Jack Rabbit Collection web site.  vavavavoom

8/30

4:90- here is the video of what you missed.  no music yet.  soon.  See, 4:90, if you listen to a weasel, you can have fun with girls and stop being a fruit fly.

Produced by PaidtobeNice. Music by Geoffrey Inkel.